My weight loss is teaching me to be vulnerable… to Accept Love.
Not just self love, like everyone expects, but actual kindness and the human condition styled love.
Fat kept me walled into my self.
Every fat cell a brick - the barrier between me and the outsiders.
Outsiders were expected to hurt me because I was fat.
Fat meant Safety and Security.
Losing the Castle and Moat (that’s what I called my Fat), meant I was out there - unsecured, unprotected… Opened !
What do I do? I can’t eat it away… I can’t stay in and hide… The anxiety swelled to an all time high in a matter of 6-7 months.
I was about 80 pounds lighter and down 10 dress sizes.
I learned to Embrace it.
I now Love it.
Unapologetically Accept it.
So now I work everyday to be Okay with a person’s compliment.
Not to second guess if they are really being genuine.
I accept a man’s chivalry... This is a huge one for me.
I had always felt the need to play tough… ‘ I can do it myself..’ ‘I don’t need you’… So that way I didn’t get my feelings hurt - Keep them at a distance.
I really didn’t know I needed to be taken care of sometimes.
I embrace and love the fitting room at clothing stores - I know silly right?!?
It’s the feeling I embrace now.
No more dread. No more drama. No more avoidance.
I try the outfit on… If it fits - Okay.. If it doesn’t that’s Okay Too. No Tears. It is what it is. Move on to something else better.
I now have options.
Acceptance of all kinds begin to happen when we Learn to Let Go. :-)